Hey, you're good:
[Narrator] Princess Ardala returns with a plot to create duplicates of Buck Rogers for her own sinister purpose:
Captain Buck Rogers, meet Captain Buck Rogers:
As you see, Captain, you can be replaced:
I want you to launch the attack against Earth immediately:
What can one Buck Rogers possibly do against three?
That's two down: One more to go:
- Boring, Buck: Boring: - Which one?
[Man Narrating] The year is 1987,
and NASA launches the last of America's deep space probes:
In a freak mishap, Ranger 3 and its pilot, Captain William "Buck'"Rogers,
are blown out of their trajectory into an orbit which freezes his life-support systems: : :
And returns Buck Rogers to Earth: : :
500 years later:
[Man] Ship stabilized at one-quarter power: Advance to half power:
Roger: Advancing to half power:
[Engine Fluttering]
I'm getting severe vibrations: I'm losing it! I'm losing it!
So much for Hero Number Seven, isn't it, Kane?
If you keep this up, we'll have to message my father for more posthumous medals:
There is nothing wrong with my design, Princess:
Of course not:
Except that it kills all of our best pilots because no one can fly it: Cancel the program:
Princess, your father would never agree: You know that he... Sit down!
I know what my father would agree to:
As punishment for the way the Terrans have insulted me,
I'm to be allowed to destroy any city on Earth that I wish:
Without this program, Princess, it will be impossible to penetrate Terran defenses:
Then stop talking and find someone who can fly your Hatchet fighter:
Perhaps you:
No, not you:
But there is a man who would be ideal:
But: : : Buck Rogers would never agree:
We don't need his permission: We have Lab 23:
Mm: Once we have the prototype, we can always improve on the model:
That I seriously doubt:
It's beautiful, Twiki: What exactly is it?
[Chirping] Just what you ordered... a ping-pool table:
A ping-pool table? I ordered a Ping-Pong table, Twiki: Pool's an entirely different game:
[Chirping] Well, there was a page missing from the construction manual:
Somewhere between pong and pool I imagine, right?
- What is Ping-Pong, Buck? - Oh, it's a terrific game:
Two, four people... uh, excuse me, entities can play it:
And you simply hit the ball over the net in the middle with those two paddles:
Oh, I see: Maybe:
[Chirping] Why, Buck?
Why?
Because: : : It's a game: [Chuckles]
- How quaint: - Well, let's play it:
You'll get an idea how it works when you see it in action, okay? I seriously doubt that:
Get over there: All right:
Pick up the paddle: All right:
- Now, I'll hit the ball over the net to you: You hit it right back to me, okay? - If you say so:
Now remember, if the ball doesn't go over the net, you lose a point:
- Ready? - Mm-hmm:
[Ball Thuds, Rolls]
- [Twiki] An ace, Buck? - It didn't go over the net: I won:
Well, uh, that was easy: What's next, Buck?
[Beeps] Dr: Huer:
- Is Colonel Deering with you, Buck? - Right here, sir:
- Colonel, would you please report to my office: - Uh, right away, sir:
- And, Buck, you might find this interesting too: Huer out: - [Beeps]
Come on, Twiki:
- Our robot probes picked it up when it entered our solar system: - It's like a letter from home:
No offense, Buck: But it just looks like more antique space junk to me:
Can I get a look inside?
Yes, if you like:
Good heavens: There's an astronaut:
- Who could it be, Buck? - I can't be sure:
That ship was flying recon in my time:
[Buck] We might have taken training together at NASA:
I'd like to take a ship up there and get a better look:
Yes, of course: Take Twiki with you in case you have trouble with the air lock entry:
- [Chirping] - Our records show no further launches after yours, Captain Rogers:
Yeah, well, your records have been off before:
Yes, Buck's right: There's a capsule up there with an astronaut aboard:
Come on, Twiki, let's move it: [Chirping] Oh, boy:
Use caution, Captain Rogers:
Prepare for docking:
[Buck] Easy does it:
[Sighs] Nothing to it:
Twiki, is it safe to open this thing?
[Chirping] It is if you push green, green, red, green:
Something must be wrong: Maybe it's stuck: Can you get it open, Twiki?
You got it, boss:
Theo was right, Twiki: It's a trap: Let's get out of here:
Hey, what's goin' on?
Well, Twiki, it looks like we're about to take a trip:
[Chirping]
The question is where?
Captain Rogers:
How good of you to drop by:
Great costume, Tigerman: You goin' trick or treatin'?
Defiance: I always liked that in a man:
What did you think of my ingenious invitation, Captain?
- I was swept away by emotion: - Leave us:
Shall I order the ambu-quad disassembled? [Chirping]
You ever have two broken arms, buster?
No: I'd like Captain Rogers's visit to be a pleasant one:
After all, a friendly ear in a strange place is such a comfort:
[Chirping] Put me down, you big ox:
Well, now that we're alone, Captain: : :
Why don't we make ourselves comfortable?
[Liquid Pouring]
A toast: To friendships old and new:
All right, Princess, what have you got up your sleeve this time?
Why nothing: : : But myself, Captain:
Terrific:
Look, Princess, as soon as I'm missed, the Defense Directorate is gonna send a rescue squad after me:
Granted: When they discover you're missing: : :
And when they figure out where you are:
By then you'll have had ample time to fulfill your mission here:
My mission?
Princess, we have been through this twice before:
- We have irreconcilable differences, remember? - No, I don't:
Let's make the most of your time here, shall we?
Kane, is Lab 23 ready? Yes, Princess:
Excellent: We'll be there immediately: Come with me, Buck:
I have someone I want to introduce you to: : : An old friend:
I can't imagine a nice guy like me knowing anybody in a place like this:
On the contrary, Buck: I think you'll find you both have a lot in common: Kane:
[Chirping] Holy cow! That's you, Buck:
Captain Buck Rogers, meet Captain Buck Rogers:
Something you threw together in crafts class, Princess?
[Kane] Alloy skeleton, vat-grown protoplasm:
The Empire's most sophisticated minicomputer for a brain...
- Zygot Mark 1, which will... - That's enough, Kane:
[Flips Switch]
- Fascinating likeness, except I'm alive: - So shall he be:
Once he's programmed to your neural responses,
Kane assures me we'll have a Captain Buck Rogers superior to the original model:
[Chirping] Once a dummy, always a dummy:
Shall we ready him for the neural duplicator, Princess?
Run for it, Buck!
[Man On P: A:] Alert:! Alert:! Intruder in Sector B:! Alert:!
[Grunting] [Kane] You would be advised, Captain, to remember: : :
You are only needed undamaged until the neural duplication is complete:
And you would be well-advised, Kane, to keep your guards under control:
Captain Rogers is not to be harmed: Yes, Princess:
[Dr: Huer] Starfighter 1314, this is New Chicago Command:
Come in, Buck:
There's something wrong: I'm gonna check out a starfighter:
Yes: Very well: But be careful:
[Whirring]
You look reasonably comfortable:
Well, it's not exactly a sport coat and slacks, but it'll do:
It's a neural capacitance suit:
Do tell: Why am I wearing it?
- Because, Captain, you have something we want: - I'm not feeling very generous:
Wherever you've been and whatever you've done: : :
Is recorded in the neural cells of your magnificent body:
This suit will duplicate those neural memories for us:
I pass: Negative:
No thanks: Not today, Princess:
Don't be nervous, Buck: It's totally painless:
I'm not nervous: I just don't like the idea of your machine tiptoeing through my neural memories:
Enough talk: Let's begin the search:
Pleasant dreams, Captain:
Ardala, I said no!
- Kane, if you touch that machine, I'll... - You'll what, Captain? Anaesthetize him:
There, his military experience:
Lock on that:
Record the patterns:
We found the ship: Both Buck and Twiki are gone: And there's no sign of the capsule:
Then they must have boarded it:
Begin a grid pattern search immediately, Colonel:
Acknowledged: Deering out:
Any data from that robot probe, Doctor?
The probe routinely recorded a ship's arrival at those coordinates, obviously Buck's shuttle:
Twenty minutes later, the probe logged a departure from that area:
The capsule: But its power should have been exhausted a century ago:
- Display: - [Beeping]
This is an electromagnetic pattern...
the fingerprint of the capsule's drive:
- Any known pattern? - [Beeping]
This readout is characteristic of the Draconian Imperial drive units:
- [Beeping] - They match:
That wasn't a space relic after all: It was an Imperial trap:
What have they done with Buck?
What's going on?
That's not very neighborly:
As a matter of fact, that's not even friendly:
Look at those reaction times:
They're twice that of Draconian norms: It's absolutely incredible:
- Not as incredible as my Zygot will be: - I seriously doubt that:
If you doubt me, why are you aiding me?
Because it amuses me, Kane:
We have enough data: Terminate the illusion:
[Typing]
[Ardala On P: A:] Bravo, Captain:
All right: You fooled me, Ardala: But fighting holographic images isn't like the real thing:
On the contrary, Captain Rogers:
We created holographic situations which are twice as critical as the real thing:
We recorded your every marvelous response:
My Zygots will be most appreciative:
Guards, take Captain Rogers back to his cell:
He must be very tired:
[Chirping] Why are they doing this?
They're programming that Zygot to be me: Then they're gonna send it back to Earth:
What for, Buck? What are they trying to do?
I wish I knew:
Your father should be very pleased with your addition to his suggestion that we destroy New Chicago:
Yes: It will be much easier dealing with Earth: : :
Once we do away with that stuffy Dr: Huer: : :
And that detestable Colonel Deering:
You are truly your father's daughter:
Everything is ready: Shall we go?
- Not yet: Bring Rogers to me: - What for?
You are not to question my orders, Kane!
Ever:! Yes, Princess!
- You sent for me? - I did, indeed:
Make yourself comfortable:
I need to make a decision, Buck: And I need your help:
Another test? Not exactly:
Not everything has to be work:
Some things are simply pleasure:
I may be a Draconian princess, but I still have feelings:
If I told you that I'd adjusted to the idea that our relationship was one-sided,
that your feelings for me would never be as intense as my feelings for you,
would you simply be my consort?
Not your husband? No:
Not your slave? No, Buck: Never:
I'm sorry: I can't:
But how can you reject me? I'm a Draconian princess:
Buck! Look at me!
Am I so horrible?
Am I not beautiful enough for you?
- You're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen: - Then why can't you love me?
I can't change my feelings simply because you want me to:
But how do you know, Buck? You've never tried:
Love isn't something that two people can try to make happen:
They either have something very special or they don't:
And we don't, Ardala:
I'm sorry:
Captain Buck Rogers:
You think you're so special: One of a kind:
Well, I have an answer for that:
If I can't have you one way, I'll have you another:
Hey, Princess!
How you doin'? Who's this clown?
Oh, yeah: That's right: You're me: [Chuckles] What's happening?
Listen, I'm really looking forward to meeting this Wilma Deering, man:
She is one sharp chick: She's something else, right?
- Well, there goes my reputation: - Hey, you can't talk that way about me:
Hey, you're good: But I'm good too: Remember, I have your mouse-like reflexes:
- Mouse-like? - Correction: Catlike:
Well, you got a real winner there, Princess:
When are you gonna teach him to walk and chew gum at the same time? Out! Out!
Your wish is my command:
Gentlemen, please be careful: After all, I am the master mold:
Hey, take it easy, Princess: Remember, brick walls do not a castle keep:
Oh, shut up!
I believe I have located Twiki on board the Draconian ship, Doctor:
- [Beeping] - [Theo] Yes:
Those are his E: M: Transmissions:
Fortunately, they're close enough to Earth to get a tight beam through:
[Dr: Huer] Twiki?
[Chirping]
Can we use you as a relay to Buck?
[Chirping] Take me: I'm yours:
Buck? Buck, wake up!
Hmm? What? [Dr: Huer] Buck, wake up:
[Sighs] Oh: [Dr: Huer] Buck: Wake up, Buck:
I must have been dreaming: I thought I heard Dr: Huer:
- [Dr: Huer] You did: - Twiki: [Groans]
Will you stop playing games?
This isn't a game, Buck: This is Dr: Huer:
- It is you, Doc: - Are you all right? Can you report?
Excellent: They've finally gotten through: But don't let Captain Rogers reveal our plan:
I don't have all the pieces yet: But as near as I can figure,
they found a way to...
[Static] We're getting distortion from solar flares:
We're losing your signal: Can you get out of your cell?
Well, I can try: What then?
Wilma's waiting half a parsec from the mother ship:
Well, I'll be right there: I hope:
Good luck: Twiki, returning control to you: Thank you:
[Chirping] I feel funny:
Yeah, well, never mind that:
If you can get that door open, we'll both be going home:
[Chirping] Sure:
Are the men in position? Yes, Princess:
The magic touch:
Let's go, Twiki: Let's go, Buck:
Come on:
[Man On P: A:] Alert:! Alert:! Intruder in Sector B:!
Come on, Twiki: Let's go: All security guards, report to your stations: Code 3:
Repeat: All security guards report to your stations: Code 3:
[Chirping] Where are you, Buck? Buck?
Hey, wait for me:
Go wait in the storage room while I preflight the ship:
[Chirping]
Uh-oh: I think I'm in trouble:
[Groaning]
[Chirping] Buck, what happened?
This is Captain Buck Rogers calling Earth Defense Directorate: Come in:
[Wilma] Is that you, Buck?
That's a big roger: I'm on my way home:
Thank heavens! You're both safe?
Oh, that's a negative, Wilma: Twiki didn't make it:
Oh, I'm sorry, Buck: I'll meet you at the stargate:
[Thunderclap]
- Come on, Buck: Let's go home: - That's a big 10-4:
Why the long face, Captain? Buck Rogers is on his way home:
Boy, are you guys a sight for stiff eyes! [Chuckles]
I'm sorry about Twiki, Buck: But we'll program another ambu-quad just like him:
Oh, Dr: Huer, Twiki wasn't just another ambu-quad: He was Buck's best friend:
And it just wouldn't be the same, would it, Buck?
Well, who knows? I guess not: [Chuckles] I understand:
You know, I'd forgotten how beautiful you are:
Oh! Well, I'm glad to see you too, Buck:
L: : : Think:
As you see, Captain, you can be replaced:
Do you feel better now?
That Zygot was just the first:
There will be three more, and they are all programmed to destroy New Phoenix:
Using your neural patterns and our Hatchet fighters,
they'll slip through Earth's defense forces like they're not even there:
We'll bring you up to watch the attack, Buck:
After all, you are the star: : : All three of you:
And if you're wondering about the prototype, he's armed with a one-kiloton nuclear device: : :
Which is programmed to detonate when he's with New Chicago's three top leaders:
[Clears Throat]
Buck? Are you all right? Sure: Hi, Wilma:
- Thinking ofTwiki? - Twiki? Oh, yeah: I'm really at the dumps about him:
Buck? You haven't been taking care of your plants:
Plants? That's right: I like plants, don't I?
Buck, what's wrong?
I saw something on board the Draconian ship: Something important:
It could help us against Ardala and Kane:
Well, what was it? I'm not sure: They had me so doped up:
Maybe if we got together with Dr: Huer and Dr: Theopolis, they could pull it out:
Well, of course: As soon as Dr: Huer comes back from inspecting the outer defenses, uh, we'll meet:
Great! It will be very explosive stuff:
Yeah:
[Buzzing] [Men Grunting]
[Chirping] Ready?
Ready as I'll ever be: [Grunting]
You guys fighting or dancing?
You're insulting a Draconian soldier, Earth trash:
Oh, is that what you call yourselves?
Well, I'd show you how to use those toys, but, uh, you probably bruise easily:
- Besides, I like a good fight: - Earth trash:
Come feel the sting of a Draconian soldier's stun stick:
[Chirping] Ooh! That smarts:
[Chirping]
Nice work, Champ: They never laid a glove on you:
Well, some days the magic works:
[Chirping] And some days it doesn't:
[Whirring]
[Whirring Stops]
Do you still think your Buck Rogers will be better than the real man?
These are Imperial combat weapons, not my Buck Rogers:
And, yes, they will be able to do anything he can, only twice as well: Really?
[Chirping] Ooh! That tickles, Buck! Uh-huh!
I knew it: They had you bugged:
That's how they knew we were gonna try an escape: [Chirping]
No wonder I felt so funny: Yeah:
[Sighs] Now we can try and figure a way to sabotage Kane's duplicating machine: : :
Without them listening in on it: Do you have a plan?
Yes, an idea:
I'm the master mold, right?
A flawed master mold means ruined production models:
I just can't figure out a way to flaw me:
[Chirping] If you were a computer, I could short-circuit you:
That's it! What's it?
If you could send a low voltage current through my body,
it would jangle my neural responses for about 20 minutes or so:
[Chirping] And curl your hair too, Buck:
Well, more importantly, it could give Kane and Ardala some very shocking results:
[Chirping] All right, ready, Buck?
[Electric Hum]
I'm receiving strange synaptic responses:
If I didn't know any better, I'd say he'd been drinking Antaraen brandy!
Nonsense, Kane: Continue programming the captain's clones:
Perhaps I've been too harsh with you, Kane:
Yes, much too harsh:
Well, I'm glad somebody else noticed: I was beginning to think I was crazy:
Oh, no: Not at all: He's just not the same Buck Rogers:
It's almost as if his spirit is missing:
- Yes: - It's so strange:
A possibility... psychosurgery while a prisoner:
That's conceivable: Which would mean... [Door Opens]
- Hi, gang! What's goin' up? - Hi, Buck:
Correction: Should read, what's coming down? Wilma,
Dr: Huer, Dr: Theopolis:
- We're finally all together: - [Man On P: A:] Red alert:! Red alert:! Evacuate Level 3:!
[Alarm Ringing] What is it, Doctor?
Security sensors have detected a Draconian bomb:
Radiation profile indicates explosion is imminent:
- Where is it? - A red alert search is being conducted at this moment:
[Clicking]
- What are you doing here? - The bomb is in this room: It's somewhere right here:
Excuse me, sir:
Detonation minus five seconds: : :
Four: : : Three: : : :
- Two... - Wilma, what...
Bomb destroyed: End red alert:
[Man On P: A:] Red alert terminated:
That wasn't Buck: It was a robot: Yes:
Doctor, I want you to put all Earth units on full wartime alert:
We just don't know when Princess Ardala will make her next move:
[Beeping]
Well, it looks like the end of the line for Rogers the Robot, eh, Ardala?
I gotta tell you, Kane: Your Zygot just doesn't have what it takes:
That was only the prototype:
The production models are far superior:
Computer tests prove that they are capable of defeating any Earth unit easily,
despite your childish attempt to sabotage their programming:
Captain Rogers appears worried:
Perhaps, Kane, for once you've got something:
We are ready to strike: Shall I give the order?
Patience, Kane, dear:
First, send the Zygots to my chambers: I wish to inspect them personally:
You see, Buck, with three Buck Rogers,
you become, shall we say, redundant?
[Ardala] At ease, Captains Rogers: Make yourselves at home:
I've waited a lifetime for this moment:
Not quite yet: Be patient:
[Gulps Loudly]
Join me:
- That sounds intense: - I intend it to be:
Maybe later: I'm into my own space right now:
Typical bomber driver:
Doesn't know how to handle anything: : : Including a woman:
- How would you handle a woman? - [Gulps]
Easy on the controls:
Preflight her real slow while you're waiting for clearance:
There was this one honey at Clark when I was flying F-16s with the Widowmakers:
Gently!
She was fine: But those F-16s, they were really sweet:
I remember one mission...
[Sighs]
What can she conceivably do with three Buck Rogers for an hour and a half?
Wild Weasel's ship said there was a Sam-12 on my tail:
So I hit right rudder, grayed out... Hold it, flyboy:
- What? - What about the woman?
What woman? I'm talking about F-16s:
I know: I know: For two hours:
There's more to life than flying, Princess:
What did you have in mind?
Soft music:
Slow dancing:
[Garbled Chatter]
What's the matter, Princess? Leave me alone:
Leave me alone!
- Buck? - What do you want, Ardala?
Nothing: Never mind:
I am Princess Ardala:
Kane:
Yes, Princess? Those Zygots?
They had better know something about fighting:
I want you to launch the attack against Earth immediately:
As you wish, Princess:
[Flips Switch]
Earth is defenseless against you:
And now, my Zygots, your instructions:
Two of you will engage the Earth starfighters and keep them at bay:
A third will avoid all combat: : :
And will obliterate New Phoenix with an antimatter bomb:
For the Empire!
[All] For the Empire!
Okay, Twiki: You got it?
[Chirping] Sounds like a real long shot:
Well, how was your party, Princess? The Zygots were launched 10 minutes ago:
Soon New Phoenix will be a memory:
You notice how she never answered my question, Twiki?
[Chirping] Party must've been a bust:
Poor Ardala: Always a bridesmaid, never a bride:
Bride: : : Bride: : :
Bride... What's the matter with you?
Who, me?
Me: : : Me: : :
Me... Another Zygot! I've been deceived!
You know, Twiki, sometimes you almost have to feel sorry for princesses:
[Chirping] Almost: Let's truck, Buck:
[Chirping]
[Beeps]
Come on:
[Beeping]
Here it is: It's coming in now:
Hatchet fighters: The first wave of Princess Ardala's attack:
Scramble all squadrons! Penetration section Oboe 3:
You'll lead the first squadron, Colonel: Intercept those fighters and destroy them:
Yes, Doctor:
He's escaped in one of your hatchet fighters masquerading as a Zygot!
Impossible: But I saw that Zygot in the cell!
Readouts from the beings in those three ships:
No human would register a positive electrostatic pulse reading:
This way, Twiki: Come on:
[Chirping]
[Beeping]
He's a fool: He'll never make it:
The port's closing, Buck:
Hang on, Twiki: It's gonna be a tight squeeze:
Something must be wrong: Even my Zygots can't control a ship at that rate of speed:
There is no error:
It's impossible to capture him now:
He's on an intercept with our attack force:
That's just fine: Fine? What do you mean fine?
What can one Buck Rogers possibly do against three?
We shall see, Kane: We shall see:
Echo Element, deploy as high squadron: Victor Element, fingers four:
Any Earth station: This is Buck Rogers: Emergency transmission:
- Buck, is that you? - Yeah, it's me:
Running about half a light second behind three more me's:
[Chirping] Here comes the cavalry, Wilma:
Twiki! It really is you, Buck! [Buck] Yeah, I think so:
Wilma, you're about to run up against three of the fastest, nastiest ships you've ever seen: : :
Piloted by three duplicates of me:
[Wilma] What are your tactics, Buck? [Buck] Don't close: Don't let them get on your tail:
They'll try to bounce you from the rear quarter: I'm on my way:
They're all over us! We can't hold!
- Alert! One of them has broken through: - Objective?
New Phoenix:
[Zygot Buck] Okay, Buck Rogers: Looks like I win this time:
One more second, no more New Phoenix:
[Buck] Oh, no, you don't:
Hang tough, Wilma:
That's two down: One more to go:
It's your turn to go, bro: Give me your best shot:
All right: Catch:
Boring, Buck: Boring: [Chuckles]
- Your move: Which way are you gonna break? - Just keep your eyes open, son:
Which one?
[Chirping] Way to go, Wilma:
You should have known your plan was destined to fail:
The plan was flawless, Princess: It was the execution that failed:
Kane, it was doomed from the start: Believe me:
There's only one Buck Rogers:
Now that is a Ping-Pong table:
[Chirping] I liked the ping-pool better:
Interesting: Yes: I must say it's very interesting:
You wanna play, Doc? Oh, I think not: [Chuckles]
Come on, Doc: I'll show you the ropes: It's easy:
Ball: : : Paddle:
You hit the ball over the net with the paddle:
Here we go again:
Uh, am I holding it correctly? [Buck] That's just fine:
Now when I hit the ball to you, you hit it back, okay? You ready? Here we go:
[Buck] That's, uh, Hey!
- Not bad for a beginner: - Yeah: Rather: Quiet good, actually:
Here we go again:
[Chuckles] You know, uh,
if I didn't know better, I'd think I was being hustled:
Hustled? [Chuckles] What's hustled?
Ah, it's just me, Doc: L-l-I'm kinda beat: I feel like something the dog dragged in:
[Chirping] Cat dragged in, Buck:
[Chirping] Uh-oh:! There's something fishy going on here, folks:
Dr: Huer, it sounds like...
A Zygot malfunction: It can't be:
It just can't be:
Gotcha!